Hoist the Colours: or, Finally, a Positive Review of Pirates.

When I began this review, my friend IMs me, "At last the pirate novelty is gone!"

I've just returned from seeing "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." I vowed to try to update this as new films came out, seeing them their opening weekend. A senior spring sort of detained me from this task, and this was the first film to inspire me to actually say something. I remember how I saw the first two movies: I caught "The Curse of the Black Pearl" down the shore with three new friends, going out of our way to see it, all of us calling people who couldn't make the trip with us, telling them to go. I saw it at least three more times before I began college. My first two weeks on campus, everyday I overheard the words "Johnny Depp" in someone else's conversation.

Last summer I caught "Dead Man's Chest" in a packed theatre in a city with a friend from work, then went back to my campus to see it with my friend (the same who still, as I type this, can't believe I enjoyed this film). It took me until its DVD release this past December, and the perspective lent to me by my brother, to be able to remotely enjoy the film.

However, I absolutely loved "At World's End." I can't even say how much. From the beginning I was riveted and could not believe that it was a Disney film. (If you make through the first two minutes, I believe you will understand. Also: Never underestimate the creep factor of large groups of people singing angrily. Eeep. And Another Note: Those of you hoping this film's song would be "Hoist That Rag"? No -- but you're close.)

I will do my best to keep this review spoiler free.

Thank GOD Elizabeth Swann is doing something with herself outside of making bad jokes about women's undergarments (or participating in jokes about her lack thereof, hem hem). I was equally shocked to find Keira Knightley in the two scenes that brought me closest to tearing up. I retract in this public domain anything slanderous I said about her talent privately.

Also, hurrah for Keith Richards! His role as Captain Teague definitely won my heart, even if my mother and I were the only people in the small crowd to recognize him. (To be fair, up until he had appeared onscreen, I'd forgotten that he was even involved.)

Again, I cannot emphasize, THIS IS NOT A KIDS' MOVIE. In the first two minutes, you'll sit there screaming in your head "No they won't," and oh yes, they do. Also, more dirty jokes. Not only are they more frequent, but they're dirtier. It's darker than the other two. It's waaay weirder than the other two.

Davey Jones Locker is like the Black Lodge in the Series Finale of "Twin Peaks" (you really didn't think I'd get through this review without a reference, did you?), only... um, nautical...ish.
I will give you one hint: doppelganger! And, as always, Johnny Depp's performance as Cap'n Jack Sparrow won its way into my heart within the first thirty seconds he was onscreen.

Great performances from Bill Nighy (to be expected), Jack Davenport (but I love him already), Jonathan Pryce (Governor Swann, Jack Flash, et cet), and, of course, Jack the Monkey. The scene between Elizabeth and her dad is the sort of writing I've tried to get for the past semester. Now I have a new film to study. Also, Norrington rules.

Those of you who need the plot, I'll give what I can without giving away. When we last saw these characters (those who suffered through "Dead Man's Chest"), Jack was eaten by the Kraken, Will thought Liz had the hots for Jack but didn't know she killed him, and Barbossa came back from the dead. The crew agrees that they will try to save Jack. There, caught up for the really depressing singalong that kicks off "At World's End." The East India Trading Company is coming into power and making it impossible for pirates to exist in this world. The meeting of the Pirate Lords (aka The Brethren) is called to order, and so our usual crew come together to save Jack and bring him to Shipwreck Cove (on Shipwreck Island, also home to the town of Shipwreck) to convene with the other Pirate Lords (who, by the way, just from looking at them, rule). But of course along the way characters meet up with Davey Jones and Lord Cutler Beckett, and a great deal of backstabbing takes place, secrets revealed, and relationships altered. (cue dramatic cliffhanger music)

But yes, go in open, just to see a movie. I kind of enjoyed the last film, so that sort of gave me a leg up on some of my friends who disagreed. Go in expecting it to be crap, and you'll pick it apart. Going in to see something that could maybe possibly rule, and you'll enjoy it a little more.

Sneaking in a bit of your own grog can't hurt either!